


After the End

by glittergrenade



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Confusion, Emotional Hurt, God Complex, Innocent L, L is Uncomfortable, Light is Bad at Real Feelings, Light's thinking patterns, M/M, Megalomaniacal Light, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Light, Post-Series, Social Awkwardness, dysfunctional behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 01:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittergrenade/pseuds/glittergrenade
Summary: Light died there, on those stairs, his broken body trailing with blood, and the glow of the morning through the skylight danced as like stars upon his face.It has been five years since L passed beyond the bonds of this life. But he has not forgotten Light.





	After the End

**Author's Note:**

> _whaaaat... she writes an anime thing... *gasp*_
> 
> Okay so you know like how in the anime Light is dying and he sees L standing there? Yeah? Well this is probably gonna ruin the sanctity of this moment but lets cross our fingers and hope for the best.

"Where — where am I?" Light freaked as soon as the pain ceased, blinking through the darkness that now greeted him.

"It's quite alright, Light-Kun. There is no cause for stress anymore."

"What…?" Snotty tears bubbled at Light's face as he looked around frantically for who had spoken. That voice — it was so familiar.

"I'm hallucinating," Light concluded. After all, that couldn't really be L speaking to him. L was long dead. Even one of his accursed successors was dead! Near would be dead soon, he would find a way to make that happen. "I'm in a hospital," he decided, sniffling, "I'm dreaming. My followers must have found me to nurse me back to health." The explanation came to him easily. He was a mess of tears and giggles.

"With the way you treat them? You should hardly be surprised about dying alone and friendless, Light-Kun."

"Nonsense. I am God! Those who oppose me can never triumph!" A rush of emotion soared to his head, and he was laughing, laughing maniacally with all his lungs.

_I won. No more reason to hide my identity._

There was silence from L as Light's sides shook. When at last he recovered, he inhaled. L was here, now. Crouching before him at startling closeness, gazing at him once again through dark hair with those big owl eyes. With a shudder of confusion, Light realized how much he had missed that sight.

"You kill anyone who suits you, Kira. It's not human nature to follow somebody like that. You saw the faces of your fellow task force members when you outed yourself to them. You have betrayed everyone who ever cared for you. They would not come for you."

"That—that's not true," Light protested. It was impossible. Humans like Matsuda were so emotional and weak — while _he_ had been so clever — "I'm _God_ , there are people who _know_ that— and _you're_ here, Ryuzaki. This is really you, hypothetically: not just my conscience or some craziness?" He reached out to touch L's face — and was almost surprised when he felt it. Not only that, but the pale skin was warm beneath Light's touch.

L closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against the hand. It was a small movement, but for L — any affectionate reaction was something to take note of. "Well yes, it is the real me, how astute of you to realize. None of this is your imagination at all. And yes, I am here, because despite you having shown that have no regard for anyone but yourself, the same cannot be said for me. You see, I'm inclined to less act on emotion as much as on logic, so I do not find the fact that you killed me quite so offensive. How else could I be able to dry your feet when I knew your next actions?"

"Because…" a broad smile spread across Light's face as it dawned on him, "you, too, came to worship me. The will of Kira be done!"

"No," L legitimately seemed disappointed in Light for guessing wrong, "it's because I have feelings for you, Light-Kun. I always have."

"What…?" Light dropped his hand suddenly. "You… really?" His brain raced for possible explanations of why L would tell him this. Was he trying to test him somehow? To manipulate him? With all cards on the table, what was the endgame? There couldn't be one. L was already dead. He had nothing left to gain or to lose. Emotions crashed down Light like a waterfall. "Me too, Ryuzaki, me too. More so than for either of my girlfriends! Why didn't you tell me before you died? I have feelings for you too!" he choked.

"I thought I had made it obvious." L was not blinking for far too long a time. "Why else would I lay down so close beside you in bed? It wasn't as if I slept much. Your warmth… it comforted me while my mind worked. Like… cake." The quiet exhale as he paused served to highlight the utter silence of their surroundings. "Perhaps it wasn't so obvious. I wasn't used to having friends, so I may have had trouble defining the difference in those relationships."

"I… no you didn't make it obvious. I am an expert at manipulating women's hearts, and no, you didn't make it obvious! If you had, I would have…" he trailed off, feeling oddly vulnerable in a way he could hardly recall. They, each who thought twenty steps ahead of anybody else. What would Light have done, had he known? Was L even telling the truth? Light believed he would be able to tell that.

"If you had feelings for me, why would you force the Shinigami to kill me?" L tilted his head slightly, a long slender finger to his lips. His expression wasn't angry. He was genuinely curious.

"You were a threat to my plan for the new world." As if that wasn't obvious. Every move L had designed at that time had been to force Light to incriminate himself and prove the 13-day rule bogus. L _knew_ why he'd had to die.

"I don't believe you understand what love is," L observed blandly. Light started. Who had said anything about love? But—

"I don't believe _you_ understand what love is! If there's one thing I noticed while working with you, it's that you don't know how to relate with other people!"

L was silent for a moment. "That is probably true," he said at length. "After all, you were my first friend. Also, I am most definitely deranged for loving my murderer."

"I love you too, Ryuzaki-San," the words came pouring from his mouth. "I love you."

"I want to believe you, Kira." There he went again, addressing him as Kira. Light didn't really mind anymore. He'd already won. L looked downcast. "It doesn't matter anymore, regardless. We lived very different lives. It's so short, isn't it? Life."

Light furrowed his brow. "Yours was. But there's a reason I chose to never to sacrifice half of _mine_ for the Eyes. I outsmarted the great detective L. You're haunting me in my dream to try and convince me to 'turn good' before I wake up as God of the new world."

L leaned back, flicking his lips with his tongue. "Come on, Light, you're more intelligent than this."

It was the longest silence yet. Light stared into the darkness of space, past L, unable to even try now to think of a witty reply. He sunk backwards. He knew what L was implying, what he'd been getting at this whole time. But it was impossible. There was no way he could be dead. And even less way he'd end up in the same place as L. He'd reigned for five years. He'd done so much to purify the earth. No one could touch God. No one could kill God. Still, Light's arms crawled slowly overtop his hair, pulling his head downwards over his knees, his face hiding behind his bangs for once as he struggled to work through what he was unable to face. "No… I worked far too hard at everything for it to end like this… and that Near, he's an idiot."

"I find that personally hurtful," L commented, returning to his familiar crouch.

"No… no!" Light looked up again, teeth clattering, somehow unable to stop himself from shaking. If he was really dead, would he still have problems like that! _I don't think so!_ "You're lying," his voice came out garbled from an excess of saliva. More problems dead folks wouldn't have! The spittle dribbled across his lips as he broke into another fit of laughter, mingling with his tears. He was God! And God could not die!

L sighed forlornly, and waited patiently for Light to finish laughing.

It happened. Slowly his mind mellowed out and his heart stopped pounding. Though Light had no qualms about making L take his time.

"You sure know a lot about the workings of the Death Note, don't you Ryuzaki?"

"I observed Near's plan. I set out to find this emptiness for which you were destined. I theorized correctly that this legendary emptiness would be too infinite for two deceased Death Note users to plausibly find each other, and that you would be alone. I wanted to be there for you when you met death. I figured you would be… afraid, after all you'd been through."

"Afraid? Ha!"

"In the moments before I died, I was afraid."

There was a silence. For the first time in — well, a long time — Light felt something markedly different. He felt guilt. Regret. Remorse? "Are you still afraid?" he found himself asking.

"No," L responded instantly, then paused. "I must apologize. That was a lie. But the reason is different now. Apparently I lived a satisfactory life and had nothing to fear. But my own feelings for you… they still weigh on my mind. It took death for me to resign. And I fear for _you_. You can neither go to Heaven nor Hell. Eternity is a long time, and this isn't a pleasant place. It's boring. I know you require frequent stimulation."

Light giggled uncontrollably like a middle school child, forgetting his pity. "Don't say stimulation!"

L looked confused, then leaned forwards even closer to peer into his eyes. "Why?"

"It's hot coming from you, that's all," Light snickered, throwing his arms around L's neck, and kissing his all-too-available face.

God of the New World be damned, _this_ was the most spectacular three seconds of Light's existence this far. L's mouth tasted of candy and cake and sugar cubes stacked diligently into tea, drawing Light instantly tilt his head to go deeper. And L's lips — his moist lips which dragged against Light's Cupid's bow were surprisingly soft for someone who took such poor care of himself. He swore he felt L's heart pounding against his own — interesting, for a dead guy — and sparks and sensations rushed through Light's brain and lower body and suddenly he was warm, he hadn't realized how terribly cold he'd felt until—

L pulled backwards, crabwalking away faster than it seemed possible anybody could traverse in such a pose, before turning clumsily to his feet and he was running, and running, _running away from Light_ —

"Ryuzaki!" Light cried, a lustful desire making him crumble into pieces. They couldn't have much time, before he woke up and then L would once again be lost to him forever. "Please don't leave me!" Normally, Light was meticulously calculating when he lied to the faces of the fools who trusted him. But as he pleaded now, he honestly did not know if the brokenness in his voice and in the pit of his stomach was genuine desperation or a ploy to keep this adorable mess of a human being with him a little longer. That lack of certainty should be concerning, but it wasn't.

Either way, it seemed to work. L stopped straight in his tracks, looking over his shoulder at Light. His eyes were even wider than normal, much wider — and the expression across his face read as extreme panic.

Light stood up, trying to calm his own nerves as he speedily but disarmingly approached L, hands lifted in the universal symbol of peace.

"I'm sorry, Yagami-Kun." L was quavering; Light had _never_ seen him this visibly shaken. This was… wow. A surge of the power, the control, that Light craved, rebuilt the confidence of Kira. He took hold of L's arms to still the shuddering detective, as L looked up almost tentatively into his eyes. Although he wasn't shorter than Light, he'd always seemed so because of his slouch. It seemed even more difficult now than ever in life for L to stand up straight. "I don't know if this surprises you but I… I've never done that before. Which feels uncomfortable enough without factoring for my first kiss to be with Kira…"

"It's okay, I've done it enough times for the both of us," Light soothed self-confidently. In a moment's retrospect, far from the ideal thing to say, but L reacted atypically to things anyways.

"I do resent that you hurt Misa. She was my second friend," L was still shivering a little. He was transfixed. Light knew he _had_ him. He _owned_ L. He had won.

"I had no choice, you realize at least from my perspective," Light assured him smoothly. "I've only ever had eyes for you, Ryuzaki."

"That's roughly the gist of exactly what you told to Kiyomi," L said.

Light looked downwards momentarily. Point scored. "Yes, but this time, I mean it." He was aware of how empty his words sounded. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Since you're dead, I'd have no reason to use you. No goal it would help me attain." _Except pleasure_. He was pretty sure he was being reasonably honest this time, oddly. And he was pretty sure that L was good at discerning when he was being truthful. After all, he'd identified correctly the time whilst Light had lost his memories of the Death Note.

"Well…" L seemed to swallow back an uncharacteristic stutter. "Although you are Kira, and Kira is evil, I did sort of defeat you through my successors, and since _we're_ dead, you can't hurt anyone anymore, so I guess, that would be okay. I really do… I do love you. So the only person you can hurt is me…" Weirdly he seemed to be talking himself through this, like a dialogue that almost shouldn't be heard. Light hung onto every word.

"I will never hurt you again," Light knew he had a voice like nectar. There was also the fact that that alone would not convince the brilliant detective, but the guy didn't exactly have anything left to lose, right?

"Okay. You may kiss me again. But… be gentle with me. I ask you. Please."

Light felt the smile creep over him again at the ceaselessly, socially awkward request. "Of course, Ryuzaki. But I can show you so much more than a kiss."

L burrowed his face into Light's chest suddenly, slowly sinking down into the well-known crouching position. It surprised Light, but it intrigued him, and he chose for now not to pull the detective up again to look into his face. It was a physical struggle not to show any visible sign of arousal when L's disheveled head pressed its way unknowingly over his crotch _in its current state_ , but L's bony fingers continued, slipping down Light's butt towards that familiar, uncomfortable-looking haven. Light needed to take a metaphorical knee when L came to his resting place, crouching at Light's feet and gripping onto his pant legs like they were his lifeline. The position was so familiar and so foreign and Light thought it was perfect.

"Lawliett," L whispered, almost inaudibly.

"What?" Light wondered through his moment of self-admiration if he'd heard him correctly, since that word didn't make sense.

"My name is L Lawliett," L clarified. "I haven't been called by it in a long time, but unless my mind is even more clouded than I know, you can't kill me again, so there is no need to go by anything else now."

"Lawliett. That's beautiful." Nudging gently at L's arms, he sat down in front of him, wishing to see his face. L permitted this, regarding Light between long dark strands of his bangs. It _was_ oddly beautiful to know the warm French lilt of this information he'd lusted after for so long. The true name of L, who claimed to secretly be all top three detectives in the world. If Kira — if Light really did _own_ him now, what a responsibility. _One deserving of God._ L looked pensive as always, but uncertain too as he met the arrogant stare. He didn't know the next thing about sexuality, did he? He was so… blissfully innocent. Far more so than many who would share in the glory of Kira's new world.

Moment of truth time. Extending a thumb, Light carefully lifted L's chin to make him look at him. "I do regret killing you, Lawliett-San. I could have found a way to restrain you without doing so. I truly wish I had."

L blinked, clearly awaiting something to happen, yet he did reply. "Thank you. I believe you mean that, and I understand the significance of such a thing, Light-San."

Light nodded in unexpected relief, regaining his distance a moment to reach for L's oversized white shirt. L froze suddenly, as Light pulled it off over his head.

Weird. L looked so different without it. Different in a _good_ way, but different. "Is this the first time you've been without that shirt?" Light joked.

L didn't move or speak, until Light reached for his waistband. Then L closed his heavy eyelids. Light wondered what he was thinking. What was L feeling? Was he as attracted to Light as he'd claimed? Was this all too much for the antisocial weirdo?

He received his response when suddenly L dove into him, locking lips instantly whilst grasping at both sides of Light's head in a strangely intense but still very enjoyable kiss. It lasted for incredibly long — for as long as L could hold his breath, which was was an impressive length of time, as clearly the guy wasn't clear-headed enough to breathe through his nose. Dead people needed air? That struck Light as odd, but a useful observation to keep in mind.

L was gasping, gulping down posthumous oxygen once he had finally pulled away for breath. It was altogether an odd experience for Light, like of something like you'd see at a science fair. L was talking as soon as he appeared able — and he was _smiling_. L was smiling. "I know I went to Heaven, but that place is far too perfect to be fulfilling for my temperament, Light Yagami!" L's voice was fuller with raw emotion than Light had ever heard it. It was a delicious sound, and all he could do was take it in. "I want to be with you! And I need to visit Mello in Hell, I need him to know I'm proud of him, he could probably use the comfort in the eternal torment. And, I've always hated travel. But I love you. And I can't be lonely anymore. I won't be ever again!"

"You got it, Lawliett." Light smiled against his skin, surprised and deeply pleased at L's words. It was enough to make him wonder if he actually was dead. But no matter. Death clearly was not the end of his reign as God. He had accomplished in the first few minutes of it something he had never been able to do in life. He had acquired L… he loved L? _Do I really not know what love is?_

It didn't matter. Kira'd had no need for love. Light had grown above Kira. And unless his surroundings deceived him, he had plenty of time to learn.

Silent laughter filled his head as he closed his eyes in satisfaction, as L wrapped his fragile, wonderful, warm body around Light, clinging to him more tightly than to the loneliness he'd clung onto for so very long in that quirky, despondent crouch. L wasn't alone anymore.

And neither was Light Yagami.


End file.
